And If I did, I would expect them to kick me out. What on earth was he doing have unprotected sex with such a nasty specimen of humanity then? Sarah,in many cases the respondent’s barrister DOES protest . I am frequently told by men for e.g. I agree with you that we need to be encouraging people to talk openly and honestly at the very outset of a relationship about how they seem themselves parenting and what they would do if they split up. Why not try appealing one such wrong decision and rescuing the child from an inhumane fate? Absolutely free of charge to the family in need. It’s sexist because it’s a multibillion dollar scam. And thank you too, for a thoughtful comment. It was just that some authorities try to stop people exercising their human right to take photographs and quote non-existent laws in their support saying it is forbidden because there is a risk the snaps might be spread on the internet and seen by perverts. typo in my original note: psychosocial – should read psychological ( auto correct fail). you will not be published]. I work with Non Custodial Parents with a focus on fathers and find that generalizations Your post makes some interesting and valid points, however my own experiences indicate that bias does indeed exist. In real life, they target the poor and vulnerable because the rich and educated not only know their rights but have the wherewithal financially to defend themselves. But if you just want to insult me, I am unlikely to find that persuasive. For a lone parent, there can be no question in whom is the primary carer. Considering the above, there seems to be a fundamental principle underpinning the actions of some of the family court that if a mother expresses an inappropriate belief, it is more likely to be treated as true, whereas if a man expresses an inappropriate belief, it is more likely to be treated as false. I don’t need to take a ‘couple of minutes’ to see – i have spent the last 20 years looking. I think we just don’t talk enough about this and it causes great pain. I agree that anger is a factor but also that fear and misery often manifest themselves as anger. Not many men who are angry come on the CPR. I see it in poorly written SW reports, media representation and in the CJS. The courts are extreme sexist towards men in very damaging and dangerous ways. My area of interest is Child emotional abuse and neglect which is most damaging during certain critical periods of infant development. violent men must be held accountable for what they do. You make ood points about the lack of men in Family justice and related fields. I recall a case when the dad was accused of not paying a maintenance payment which he had indeed paid into mum’s account. you have obviously been through a bad experience and that has hurt you and made you angry and bitter. If disagreements continued then they can be addressed by a divorce court which should make its decisions on facts alone. Outside the Court arena, in the home setting,i agree with the post author that many men do not appreciate how frightening they can be to women ( and children, i will add) when they are angry. One always admire those which act correctly. The family courts does not have the tools needed to tackle the psychological dysfunction of parents. Forgive the delay. To be able to face, with clear eyes, the pain we have suffered in our lives, to recognise its place but not let it destroy us or overwhelm us, is a great gift. I am required to pay fees if I wish to waste further time, money and effort on court proceeding to see the child, and am required to pay collection fees to the child maintenance service (that they refuse to waive even upon application). It happened to me. More out of court than in. The courts showed zero interest in my ability to support myself post divorce or the fact that I was almost made homeless and often could not afford to eat. This is especially true regarding children. Children clearly count for very little in our current world . 24 hours later B removes remaining possessions from property. But , in my case it is the father , my ex and has been going on for 14 years since my son was born , what then and howdo or can I prove this ?? The victim’s barrister would speak out and protest. After a 4.5 year legal case with no contact with my (now) 10 year old daughter for nearly 18 months towards the end of the case, the judge at the final hearing last march transferred my daughters residence so she now lives with me. I am doing a research masters which is based on growing research that abuse and neglect of infants by primary caregivers (mostly mothers) contributes much of the dysfunction in society because of the negative brain developmental consequences of the neglect and abuse. Is it sanctioned by either law or culture that the mother holds a veto on the father’s contact? Angelo, please don’t be disingenuous. After all why would anyone care about a problem that doens’t affect them. I don’t think mothers or fathers automatically are good, better, best. What’s working? If you are having no response to your requests to information, is it time to consider a court order regarding contact with the children? Less than half ! I called police as an argument had occurred. If you aren’t married to Mum,for heavens sake,leave children with her and trust her until they themselves seek you out. Good PARENTS are those who are not selfish. The Judges in the family Court are biased against families in favour of the Local Authority. You say: “Quite a lot of men seem to see their relationship with their children through the lens of ‘their rights’ and are unwilling or unable to focus on the child’s experience” What happens to them? Marriages end in divorce 40-50% of the time. Help families, don’t ruin them. That shows a lack of even willingness to engage with the pain, fear and loneliness felt by many. IMHO – Those injuries are very different only similar in that they are traumatic. Of course it is and if we live in a society that can be so flippant about it’s responsibly to the most vulnerable, I don’t want to inhabit it. Just one example I can think of; when men return home from work , some of them are programmed to expect their dinner on the table and their slippers by the fire all ready and prepared for his comfort after a long, hard day. I agree that the family justice system is far too feminised – but while men continue to refuse to work in it, what can we do? This is a very important discussion and I hope we can open some minds. Last year in Michael v Official Receiver the Court of Appeal upheld a decision rejecting an allegation of bias. If you fear for their safety with Mum,concentrate on obtaining factual evidence of harm (maybe spending your money on a private eye) .If you get any,take it to the Police.Leave Social Services and the allegedly biased and toothless Family Courts out of it! Very few direct questions are answered . You both can’t be right. A decides no legal advice is needed on A’s part. Post below from Angelo ‘ All comments welcome’ – Sarah’s response cheered me up. this is nothing to do with lawyers. But regardless of reasons for it, it remains a fact. When matters are of political significance ,it is very awkward for professionals to be upfront and they are often scared to say anything which may be considered not to be p.c. What I do – I hope helpfully – is attempt to explain general principles of law that may or may not apply to your situation. The fact that you are so dismissive of the pain caused by fathers who create children then refuse to pay for them or refuse to care for them is odd. Many thanks Fact-Seeeker There also seems to be a significant minority of men, shouting it wasn’t me, when there is evidence to prove it was. Well-meaning though they might be, they cannot physically restrain a man and reform him neither are they interested in doing so. Evil mothers are rewarded for purgery. men should be tried by a PROPER court and if he is found guilty, he should be punished severely and possibly imprisoned if proportionate to circumstances. It should be remembered that family courts must rely on facts. I have found working paper 3 (‘Excessive Stress Disrupts the Architecture of the Brain’) working paper 5 (‘The Timing and Quality of Early Life Experiences Combine to Shape Brain Architecture’) working paper 10 ( ‘Early Experiences Can Alter Gene Expression and Affect Long-term Development’) particularly helpful, but all 12 are useful for a deeper understanding of this area. There is a very interesting correlation between how right I think I am on a ‘controversial’ topic and the degree of really abusive, rude and illogical challenge those views get. With respect,Sarah, my opinion is that you appear not to ‘see ‘one of the main points I am trying to make. I will counsel my male children most seriously never to marry or cohabit with a woman. If that is how Peter is going to interpret what I said, this causes me significant unease on a number of levels: PLEASE REMEMBER that just because something is technically ‘lawful’ that does not mean for one second that it is either advisable or sensible to do it. I understand. I also point out that you should ALWAYS take time to get particular advice tailored to your particular situation, before deciding to do or not to do something. If it is alleged that a man is violent towards his wife but there are no police reports supporting that, or medical evidence, and the wife says it doesn’t happen – then challenge that account. Sarah, I do appreciate your comment, but you cannot really deny the corruption now out in the open as a result of the on going public enquiry nor the corruption widely reported in many parts of the country which has been described as ‘cultural’ within social services departments over at least the last sixty years. This is a big but little acknowledged part of the problem I think. Get real!i No that is not what i am saying. To a certain degree yes. ” This is very new area of study. What aggravates me and exasperates me about the whole debate is that many on both sides seem to wish to attribute one kind of characteristic exclusively the the group that shares or does not share their genitals. Where we may disagree is how this inherent bias ‘must’ be corrected. Read this https://twitter.com/gardencourtlaw/status/894607459276513281, Quote:It is the task of the Judiciary to lay down their interpretation of the Law including human rights law and ORDER the authorities to comply regardless of cost: UNQUOTE, QUOTE:Lawyers They put the interests of their children paramount . My wife used to be the legal secretary for the legal executive who represented her in court. You just don’t hear those voices as loudly. Zero tolerance. These references should act as a spring board to further study in this area. However this cuts across the whole principle of equality as it is usually presented. Procedures and guidelines pertaining to Cp investigations and proceedings have to be adhered to for us to achieve forensic certainty as per the law. (A has called police several times in the last 12 months alleging DV and assault. http://www.childrenssociety.org.uk/news-and-blogs/press-releases/nine-homes-by-the-age-of-nine-%E2%80%93-housing-instability-marks-lives-of#163961_20170330102705 It is a clear form of abuse. It’s political correctness that calls the tune and that changes all the time. referring to the ‘blood on their hands’ comment. While we have this ridiculous attitude that violent men must be appeased and contained, we will continue to have problems. Men and women can behave with staggering cruelty and indifference towards one another and the lives they are both responsible for creating. reasons given for divorce As a man, again ,I would say that unless Mum goes out to work and I am at home as the main carer, I would expect the children to live with their mum and expect that I would have to pay maintenance until they start work. Did the Judge mention the allegations as a factor in the judgement ? I have been through family courts in three different states in the U.S. It’s the same everywhere. Of course the facts will be tested rigidly and correct procedure followed. It treats men like trash. The excuses they offer, their ‘triggers’ are not my problem. To me, this is about the choices the lawyers make in the final analysis; the SW’s cannot go against the strict directives of the LA’s even when they want to because they don’t have the power to. “FUll” Hearing scheduled for the Monday morning. If someone need to find a scapegoat to blame for their own inadequacies, I’d like to think that is their problem not the rest of the worlds.. Despite the fact that the other parent has been supporting children in items of clothING and haircuts.. they just won’t listen to you whatsoever and then start taking automatic payments out of your wages and destroying your way to live. Men have taken the challenge to change and evolve and they are truely embracing it. http://www.gov.scot/Resource/0051/00515142.pdf. Firstly I would like to say this presents some interesting questions and solutions to family court proceedings that many go through and I am pleased that you are open to debate on this. I am guessing women these days will expect him to make his own dinner! I would not have to decide ,mainly on the hearsay evidence of largely female SW’s and the various opposing allegations and counter allegations from opposing parents. That said, a decade down the line, I hear of bias against fathers. Your comments have just as much value here as anyone else’s whether you are professional or not. Grow up. Let’s simplify this entire forum and think in numbers for a moment. I think in particular this idea that ‘real men’ don’t cry or talk about their feelings. And btw its ‘argument’. For the first time in my life I can now understand why men take their own lives, or indeed wreak bloody, violent revenge on their ex-wives. You do not have to apologise. Oh yes – corrupt family lawyers. Just giving them the chance of bringing a case in the Family Court ( with the encouragement of well-paid lawyers) is bound to cause emotional harm to any child involved. However all these have been shattered at the unclean hands of the legal system. Equally men, women, transsexuals, asexuals, homosexuals or polymorous people are capable of love, kindness and compassion. The work I have been doing collecting this data over the past 4 years has made me both very angry and sad that there is so much denial about the consequences of neglectful or emotionally abusive parenting. Thank you. During my marriage I was never abusive towards my ex wife or family and yet during the divorce proceedings I was wrongly accused of emotional abuse and domestic violence. The family court is as good a place as any to recognise the harm they do. But because they make a choice and they find someone they can truly communicate with and therefore have the best chance of parenting well together. World view, my eye! It is a massive part of the problem that access to justice is becoming unaffordable for many, I agree. Don’t forget everyone is a human-being and every family is different. Giving the rest of us a bad name. Or sometimes when Dad has smacked a naughty child now and again and on one occasion caused a bruise. A arrives at the property and calls the police. I agree with Jerry that we need to be clear what the legal position is – and indeed on what our society’s position is. As I said the man is a human being and may get aggressive by human nature. Morals have lapsed both with men and women which is ,of course, the reason for a lot of problems which lead to break-up and divorce. Sadly I have. Another thing I can think of is that a man does not really like his wife/partner to be tired all the time from a full-time job and it can be irksome to him when a woman continually moans and groans about work. thanks Paul for your constructive and helpful comment. Another world authority in this area is Bruce Duncan Perry. Consider family law reform before casting any votes for Circuit Judges. It’s not easy to be constantly in pain for the best part of ten years and sometimes I’m guilty of showing my very worst side. Lies in his bed, walks up and down with me, The time you give is admirable to what I have found most dissmiss as trivial especially in the big bad room. Why the anti-fahter bias in most courts? You can't expect family law judges to have a blank mind when they take the bench . Using a survey experiment that varies judge gender in a Psychiatric Placements were no available all along Angelo, some other young person lost their bed so she could have one and Munby is quite clear I think about what he thinks about that . You know this and are unable to refute it because it contradicts your opinion. Total power trip. I believe, that in most situations a baby or young child will naturally want to be next to Mum. Just for the sake of discussion. You might want to modify that. These were the ages of my children when court hearing commenced. From my reading of this discussion so far, some men appear to think there is an element of bias against them in the system owing to the high preponderance of females in it and also because of the court’s tendency to ‘pander’ to Mums who are usually the ‘main’ carers. This is not something that happens only in family court, let me insert anecdotal evidence here. Please see my review, it might help with you threads of research. 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